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Jack Merrill reveals that John Wayne Gacy spared his life after being kidnapped and raped

Jack Merrill reveals that John Wayne Gacy spared his life after being kidnapped and raped

In 1978, Jack Merrill reluctantly entered the home of serial killer John Wayne Gacy. Unlike dozens of Gacy's other victims, he left the house alive.

Merrill, who was 19 at the time of the kidnapping and rape, has since become an actor and has played small roles in several television series, including “Law & Order” and “Grey's Anatomy.”

Now he's starring in his own story, having written a one-man show he'll perform called “The Save,” which details that terrible night with Gacy.

John Wayne Gacy's lawyer 'wanted to look evil in the eyes', believes there are at least 20 more victims

Actor Jack Merrill wearing a blue baseball cap smiles, wearing a black suit jacket and a dark blue shirt, photographed from a perspective

Actor Jack Merrill played small roles in several television series, including “Law & Order,” “Grey's Anatomy,” “Games People Play” and “Steve the Intern.” (Michael Tullberg/Getty Images)

“When I was 19 years old, I was kidnapped and raped by a mass murderer. One that is ingrained in the American consciousness. John Wayne Gacy,” he told People magazine. “Yes, that guy from Chicago who dressed up as a clown and murdered 33 boys and young men under his house and garage and who authorities believe killed even more.”

The son of a respected Chicago Sun-Times sportswriter, Merrill says he grew up in a turbulent household as the youngest of five children.

Black and white mugshots of John Wayne Gacy, looking directly into the camera in one shot and from the side in another

John Wayne Gacy poses for standard mugshots at the Des Plaines Police Department. (Des Plaines Police Department/Chicago Tribune/Tribune News Service via Getty Images)

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“I was working in clubs when I was 19,” he explained. “I wanted to be an actor but didn’t know how to go about it. I went swimming at the YMCA, and one evening I went home after swimming. A man stopped and said, 'Do you want to?' take a ride?'”

“I thought I would walk around the block a few times but he started driving fast and turned into a really bad area. He said, 'Lock your door. This is dangerous.' I said they kept it out of the papers because it was bad for business on nearby Rush Street, and he said, “How do you know that, huh?” You’re not smart like those other kids.”

“I had never gotten in a car before, but I felt that if he thought I was different to the other people he had picked up, then I should stick with it. He pulled up near the Kennedy Expressway ramp and asked If I'd ever had “poppers” – amyl nitrite – he squirted some liquid on a rag and shoved it in my face, and when I woke up I was in handcuffs.

Black and white aerial view of John Wayne Gacy's destroyed home

As a result of the investigation, backyard buildings and the front and back lawns of John Wayne Gacy's home are completely destroyed. (Walter Kale/Chicago Tribune/Tribune News Service via Getty Images)

Shortly after, he arrived at Gacy's now infamous home. “He told me to be quiet,” Merrill said. “A light from the back of the house hit him in the eyes and suddenly I realized how dangerous he was.”

“I knew he was crazy and I knew I couldn't fight him. And I knew I couldn't upset him. And I just had to defuse the situation, defuse the situation. Always act like everything is okay.” Because I grew up doing it, I’ve done it my whole life.

Jack Merrill in a black leather jacket and black hat

Jack Merrill remembers being drugged in John Wayne Gacy's car. (Greg Doherty/Getty Images)

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Merrill remembers thinking that if he fought Macy, he wouldn't survive. “I didn't fight him… I was 19 years old and a scrawny little kid… I had learned skills that I could use so I wouldn't lose.”

The 65-year-old remembers that the house was “dark” and that he “felt like it was a trap.”

“He asked if I trusted him and I said I did, so he took the handcuffs off. There was a bar in the middle of the house. We were drinking beer and he had this strong pot and then he put the handcuffs back. “He dragged me down the hall and put ropes and pulleys around me so that if I twisted I would suffocate fought back.

“I knew he was crazy and I knew I couldn’t fight him.”

– Jack Merrill

Jack Merill in a black suit smiles next to Jane Krakowski and another man in a light gray shirt

Jack Merrill believes that people wouldn't care if the same attack had happened to him but not been committed by John Wayne Gacy. (J.Vespa/WireImage/Getty Images)

“At some point I did that and started to lose my breath. He put a gun in my mouth. Then he raped me in the bedroom. I knew if I fought him I wouldn't have much of a chance. I never freaked out or.” I also kind of screamed sorry, like he didn't necessarily want to do what he was doing, but he couldn't stop. I finally noticed that he was tired. Suddenly he said, 'I'm taking you home.'”

“If this happened to me and it wasn’t (Gacy), no one would care. This is interesting for me to think about. Because there are a lot of other people that bad things happen to,” he explained. “You don’t care about me. They are interested in (Gacy). And I know that, and that’s fine, but that’s a strange thing in our society.”

Two side-by-side black and white mugshots of John Wayne Gacy, showing his side profile and then smiling but looking slightly away from the camera

John Wayne Gacy in mugshots from 1978. (Prison Bureau/Getty Images)

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Merrill says Gacy dropped him off around 5 a.m. near where they first met. “He gave me his phone number and said, 'Maybe we'll meet again sometime.' When I got home I flushed the number down the toilet and then took a shower. I didn't call the police – I didn't know he was a murderer at the time.

Merrill says he initially tried to tell this story years ago but was dissuaded by a film executive. Merrill remembers the person asking him, “This is how you want to be remembered?”

“If this happened to me and it wasn’t (Gacy), no one would care.”

– Jack Merrill

That stalled the process of telling his story, but didn't kill it.

“One of my big messages with this (one-man) show is that I am not a victim. Something happened to me. “It was one night, and I made a pact with myself at the time that he would control me for one night, but he wouldn't control my life,” Merrill said. “He would not be the defining factor in my life… This trauma would not dictate my life.”

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org

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